The Death of Naïveté: My Year in Retrospect

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compassion, grace, Jesus, love, refine, religion, spirituality

As I write on this Christmas Eve, my catharsis is pouring out in atypical form. Tonight, my emotions are heightened as I reflect over the past year, spiritual intensity reaching its zenith. This year has been a barrage of emotions… both positive and negative. And as I reach a season of retrospect, I realize if it weren’t for the valleys, then I could never appreciate the mountaintops.

This year has been one in the fire; a season of refining. It was the year my naïveté was put to death: at the hands of society, at the hands of friends, at the hands of my own cursed capacity. I spiraled into a foreboding darkness, struggling to understand my own humanity. Relationships were pruned from my life. Innocence was lost; rejection became a way of life. I can’t please everyone. The truth is, I never possessed that capability… I just know it to be true now.

When God decided to refine me, I became exposed to the elements. My protective layers of masks, façades, and polished exteriors were stripped away. I had to become raw. I had to become real. No more hiding. No more lying. No more pretending. Yet there is irony in this process. Honesty is a celebrated virtue. The truth shall set you free. Isn’t that what they say? So where did everyone go? Why do people walk away? “Confess, confess,” they say. But once you do, you are left with shattered remnants of your trusting heart, and no one to pick up the pieces.

Hate. Betrayal. Distrust. Hypocrisy. Rejection. Emptiness. Hopelessness.

In much the same way that Jesus entered our world, he entered my spirit. Quietly and humbly he came, and a glimmer of supernatural hope was born into my dying human heart. Although he’s been with me from the beginning, I needed a fresh introduction. I needed to know him. I had come to value the approval of creation above the approval of the Creator. He held my lifeless spirit and he saw my cynicism. He saw everything: my doubt, my inadequacies, my filth. “You are the reason I came here,” he said. “Don’t hide from me. Show me your flaws. Let me be all the things you can’t. Seek me. Find me. Rest in me. I don’t see you as others do. Some will condemn you for your imperfections; I embrace them. I do this because it’s in your weaknesses that my glory can be revealed.” Every wound that had been inflicted on my lonely heart remained; but the pain was slowly subsiding. God, in His unwavering love, sent me angels in human form. All hope was not lost. There really were people who loved me, with no conditions or stipulations. And so I lost my religion the day I heard his voice. My religion was replaced with an fierce intimacy, and I discovered Love, incarnate.

Acceptance. Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. Redemption. Vindication. Love.

And so, I’m not the same person I was one year ago. I still expect the best in people; I just don’t rely on it anymore. It is unfair to burden humanity with the impossible. Mere men and women were not made to harbor responsibilities reserved for the Creator. And thank goodness for that. We all have the capacity for horrendous things. We also have the capacity for wondrous things. Sometimes the flesh wins out, sometimes the divine.

This Christmas, may peace truly be with you. If you are in the darkness, know that it will not be perpetual. During seasons of refining, it often seems as though God is absent. It’s only after you’re pulled from the fire that you see it had a purpose.

May the new year bring you an intense sense of validity and purpose. May courage replace fear. May we stand for what is right, no matter the cost. May we live and love together in authenticity. May we echo the love that was born into this world 2,000 years ago; and may we truly understand that He is the only thing that matters.

“Holiday” vs. “Christmas” Tree, and Reasons Why it Doesn’t Matter

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Christmas, holiday tree, Jesus, pagan, religion, spirituality, winter solstice

With all the scuttlebutt concerning “holiday” vs. “Christmas” this year, I decided to offer my own meager perspective on the whole thing. Now, I’m into Christmas just as much as the next girl. I begin playing Christmas music on November 1st, I’m a sucker for twinkling lights, and I get warm fuzzies on the first day that Starbucks pulls out their red and white coffee cups. But let’s face it… those are just the trappings of a secular society during a holy season.

But is it holy? Is December 25th truly set apart solely as the commemoration of the birth of Christ? We know from history that Constantine dictated when Christians would celebrate the birth of the Savior. We also know that it coincided with the winter solstice and pagan rituals that had zero to do with Christianity. In fact it’s highly probable that Jesus was not born in the month of December. But does that matter?

I say no; it certainly doesn’t matter when Jesus was born. The important thing is that he was! The details of an exact date matter little. The fact is, we should exhibit goodwill toward men on a year-round basis. It’s not only December 25th that is holy; it should be every day! Every new dawn is holy, every breath, every moment… because it was imparted to us by the Creator. But if the rest of the world is focused on Christmas, however secular their interpretation may be, then why not us? Our modern traditions have been delicately shaped and molded over the years, and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating them! But I implore us to know where our traditions come from.

For instance…

The recent debate over “holiday tree” vs. “Christmas tree” has really managed to get some feathers ruffled. Some are insisting it be dubbed a “holiday tree” so as not to offend those of other religious backgrounds. Some are taking the position that it’s just another way for secularists to take Christ out of Christmas. Whichever side of the fence you’re on, there’s no denying that associating an evergreen to this particular season has pagan roots. Its origin, in its various forms, can be found in many cultures. At the beginning of the winter solstice, they would bring an evergreen into their homes to commemorate the return of life in the midst of winter’s decline. This was also the practice in the days surrounding the pagan Roman festival, Saturnalia. In other cultures,  specifically of Celtic origin, the evergreen and mistletoe were symbols of the birth of a pagan god. In Jeremiah 10:1-4, there is even a verse that makes a reference to pagan practices of this kind:

“Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel.
Thus says the LORD:

     ‘Do not learn the way of the Gentiles;
      Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven,
      For the Gentiles are dismayed at them.
      For the customs of the peoples are futile;
      For one cuts a tree from the forest,
      The work of the hands of the workman, with the ax.
      They decorate it with silver and gold;
      They fasten it with nails and hammers
      So that it will not topple…’”

The passage goes on to say that they fashioned an idol from the decorated tree. Does this make the tradition of a Christmas tree innately evil? Of course not. When they decorated a tree, they were participating in pagan practices to fulfill their pagan beliefs. It was their culture, immersed in the traditions of their time. When modern Christians decorate a tree, we do it to commemorate a season; one which we have grown up with, rich in tradition. We don’t consider our tree an idol or associate it with the winter solstice. We may associate peace, joy, goodness, kindness, and merriment with our festive, lit, decorated Christmas tree, because that’s what we know. That’s our culture. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But let’s be sure we know where that tradition originates. I’m more convinced than ever that perhaps “holiday tree” really is the more accurate term… but I’m going to stick with the traditional “Christmas tree”, mainly because the song “O, Holiday Tree, O Holiday Tree” just wouldn’t have the same ring to it. But in all seriousness, don’t you agree that petty debates over seasonal vocabulary keep us from the greater work?

Let’s remember that Christmas has nothing to do with stringing lights on an evergreen, but everything to do with a baby, a manger, and more love than the world could ever handle.

Star of Wonder

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astronomy, Jesus, religion, spirituality, stars, zodiac

The Christmas season is officially upon us. Like millions of others, I adore this time of year. If you can manage to look past the commercialism of the holidays, you can sense a softer version of humanity—one that you don’t see the other 11 months out of the year. People tend to be more generous, more kind-hearted, more compassionate. There really is a greater sense of “goodwill toward men”. But above all that, Christ-followers focus on the birth of Jesus.

Now… by now, we all know that Jesus wasn’t actually born on December 25th. However, that’s when Christians celebrate it (thanks to Constantine, of course). In fact, we’re not sure exactly when Jesus arrived, but some theologians estimate it was during the Feast of Tabernacles, which on our calendar, would be late September or early October. Others think it could have been springtime. Even though our timing for celebration lacks accuracy, it shouldn’t take away from the wonder and the majesty of his birth. If you’re like me, then you’ve probably sat out under a winter sky, gazing up at the stars, and wondered exactly which one it was that led the wise men to Jesus over 2,000 years ago. There is much speculation to this inquiry, and the theories are fascinating.

Before presenting any explanations, we must be aware of two things:

1. It is widely accepted that the “star in the east” was actually a cluster of planets and stars, and therefore the result of an unusual astronomical alignment.

2. It is a common theory that the “Zodiacs”, as the secular world knows them, are actually perversions of Divine constellations that God put in place for the purpose of story-telling.

We’ll talk more about different alignments later on. First, let’s consider the constellations. The idea that the Gospel story is told through the stars was made popular by E.W. Bullinger and J.A. Seiss in the 1800′s. It is thought that these signs were placed in the heavens by God to tell the Divine story to His people, which probably came in handy as memorization tools long before the Scriptures were printed. Keep in mind, astronomy is much different than astrology. Astrology is a perversion of God’s constellations—counterfeited at the hands of Satan. Below, I have listed the secular Zodiacs, along with the Divine constellations, and their interpretations:

*Original chart can be cited here.

Although the Bible doesn’t give instructions to look to the stars for specific messages, it does tell us that many signs and clues can be found in the heavens: “And God said, Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be signs and tokens [of God's provident care], and [to mark] seasons, days, and years…” (Genesis 1:14 [AMP]). Even David wrote in Psalm 19, “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork” [AMP]. However, as with all symbolism, we must be careful to keep an objective state of mind, as there are numerous levels of interpretation. But you have to admit, it’s intriguing to think that the stars may very well tell our story—God’s story. And when you consider this, it makes the theories regarding the “star in the east” that much more interesting.

Grant Mathews, professor at Notre Dame University, dedicated two years of research in order to discover the origin of the star that led the wise men to the Messiah. (The full article can be found here.) He hypothesizes that the “star of wonder” is the result of an uncommon alignment of planets and stars. According to his research, there were three likely times for this:

1. Feb. 20, 6 B.C., when Mars, Jupiter and Saturn aligned in the constellation Pisces.

2. April 17, 6 B.C., when the sun, Jupiter, the moon and Saturn aligned in the constellation Aries while Venus and Mars were in neighboring constellations.

3. June 17, 2 B.C., when Jupiter and Venus were closely aligned in Leo.

Of course, all of these are viable estimates for the time of Jesus’ birth… and again, no one knows for sure. But the possibilities of creation are limitless… and if God really does place signs and clues in the sky, I would venture to guess that He might have placed that cluster of stars inside the constellation of Leo. Wouldn’t it be incredible to think that 2,000 years ago, while following that bright light that shone over Jesus, the wise men were gazing at the sign of The King?

The Mystery, Power, and Purpose of Prayer

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God, prayer

If you grew up in a Christian home as I did, you learned to pray as early as you learned to speak. You probably recited “God is great, God is good”, before meals or “Now I lay me down to sleep” before drifting off to your dreams at night. Prayer is an essential part of the Christian life. Yet, do we really understand it? Do we truly grasp the purpose of a prayerful mind? Personally, I don’t think I’ve gotten the hang of it. As I question my own prayer life, I’m eager to share my ramblings with you. You’ve heard the analogy before: God isn’t a genie in a bottle who grants our every wish. We shouldn’t just go to Him in prayer when we need something. Prayer is for much more than that. Prayer is a means for us to give God adoration and thanksgiving. By it, we can confess things to Him in secret, and receive healing of the mind, body, and spirit. It’s a supernatural thing that literally opens up communication between the physical and the spiritual world. Somehow, we too often forget what a humbling, profound, unthinkable thing that is. Today, we have the privilege of approaching God wherever and whenever we wish. I’m thankful that we no longer need to satisfy the old Jewish requirements of animal sacrifice for forgiveness of our sins. There is no longer a temple curtain separating us from the presence of the Most High. And it’s not because we are worthy. It’s not because we deserve it. It’s because of Jesus—because of the blood of a perfect Savior. When God became a man—when the Divine became human—it shattered the truth of all we had previously known.

When I was in college, I struggled with immense guilt. Dwelling on my past sins and mistakes kept me from enjoying God in the present; it was Satan’s favorite tool. I couldn’t forgive myself, and so I questioned how a perfect God could forgive an imperfect thing like me. My prayer life began to suffer because I couldn’t be completely honest with God. As I think back on that time now, I’m saddened to think that I passed up such an amazing opportunity to connect with my Creator. Prayer is our means of communication with the One who made us… and it doesn’t always have to be in the form of a happy, perfectly wrapped package. Sometimes our prayers are ecstatic. Sometimes they are lamenting. Sometimes they are full of anger, tears, and fury. But that is genuine prayer. God sees our heart already; He just wants us to willingly share it with Him, flaws and all.

When contemplating the purpose of prayer, many complex questions arise for me. What happens when God doesn’t answer our prayers? Or worse yet… what happens when He doesn’t answer them the way we want? What if we spend months praying for a loved one who’s dying of a terminal illness, and they still pass away? What about the prayers offered on behalf of those who are addicted, those who are being abused, those who are oppressed? What if suffering still prevails? These are not easy questions. I’ve wrestled with them time and time again. Here are a few that come to mind:

Why do bad things happen to good people, even though we pray against evil? This one is perhaps the most difficult. I believe the answer lies in the fact that this worldly realm is not our home. This earth—for the time being—is under Satan’s dominion. When sin entered the garden, it flawed God’s perfection for His creation. The world in which we currently live was not the intent of our Holy Father. When Lucifer fell, he brought his demons with him; and the spiritual battle between God’s angels and the fallen angels continues in a realm that is closer than we imagine. It is never God’s will that His creation suffers. It goes against His very nature. Even so… knowing this doesn’t make evil, hatred, or injustice easier to witness. But perhaps we can find some peace in knowing that this spiritual climate will not last forever. As we wait on eternity, we can use our time here to strive toward that perfection we so desire. The embodiment of Jesus is found in perfect love. That is the only weapon that can unequivocally stand against evil. Where there is judgment, may we show compassion. Where there is intolerance, may we exhibit tolerance. Where there is destruction, may we rebuild.

Can prayer truly change things? To me, the most striking passage in the Bible concerning this is found in Daniel 10. Daniel was visited by an angel in a vision, who arrived later than expected, seemingly due to a spiritual battle. Here is Daniel’s account from 10:10-14:

“And behold, a hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. And he said to me, “O Daniel, man greatly loved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for now I have been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. Then he said to me, “Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words.  The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days.”

It seems that our prayers can literally strengthen God’s angels in the midst of battle.  If this is true, does that change our approach to prayer? It certainly should.

Why is God’s answer sometimes “no”? This is usually where it gets personal. For me, it’s when the “where two or gathered” verse comes to mind. If we are praying for a righteous, selfless cause along with many other believers, how could God ever answer “no”? I experienced this firsthand during the months following my mother’s death 3 1/2 years ago. She needed a liver; less than 40% of hers was working as it should. God had brought her so far. It was a miracle that she made the transplant list as quickly as she did. Even the transplant surgery was a success. She spent two months in the ICU, and then was transferred to another floor because she was doing so well. Things were looking up. She even called me late one night so we could begin to plan her “Welcome Home” party. The next night, she suffered a heart attack, and was without oxygen to her brain for 20 minutes. She passed away 36 hours later. I will never fully understand why God allowed so many victories along the way… and for what? Why bring her so far, and then let this happen? As my dad and I mourned our loss, we began to realize that my mom would have never had the life she wanted, even if the surgery had been a complete success. Because of health prevention practices, she never would have been able to do the things she loved. She would have been severely limited. Does that make it any easier? Not really. But we began to understand that the absence of suffering for my mother was the best answer we could have hoped for. Just before her transplant surgery, my mom said, “It’ll be great either way. Either I’ll get a new liver, or I’ll get to meet Jesus.” All in all, she was with us for 2 months and 19 days with her new liver. So, I guess she really got to do both!

The older I get, the more I realize how much I don’t know about our God. He is our familiar Abba Father, yet He mysteriously holds the entire universe in His hand. Isn’t it humbling to know that the Creator of everything good provided a way for us to reach Him on an intimate level? Sometimes I just can’t quite wrap my brain around that. Even though He spins the earth on its axis and tells the sun when to set, He loves us.

He loves us.

Beyond Betrayal: Put Your Trust in God

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betrayal, faith, God, trust

One of my adopted life philosophies has always been: be transparent.  Be as vulnerable as you can allow yourself to be… because even though that vulnerability will inevitably give way to pain and sorrow at some point, it will most assuredly also bring unimaginable joy as we share life closely with one another.  I now believe my adopted life philosophy is naïve; and I’ll tell you why.

We give our trust away to people.  We have faith that those people will never violate that trust.  We believe in their loyalty.  Yet one action can nullify all of these.  One force has the power to invalidate our trust, and our humanity… and that is betrayal.  Once we have experienced this treason, we can never truly recover our trust in its most uncorrupted state.  We will always be guarded.  Innocence has surrendered.

Perhaps the most frightening thing is the realization that we are all capable of betrayal.  I am.  You are.  At some point, all of us have been a catalyst for betrayal.  We are a fallen race, susceptible to  selfishness, greed, lust, and the insatiable desire for self-gain.  Somewhere, the Golden Rule gets buried beneath treasure chests, full of our own agendas, ideas, and self-centered notions.

But there is hope.

There is one thing that can overcome betrayal.  And that is love.  God’s love.  You see, even though we may strive to reach perfect love, no human will ever achieve it.  But love is God; and God is love.  That love was made tangible through Jesus, who laid down his life so that we could be forgiven of our atrocities.

My new philosophy?  Be guarded.  Put your trust in God, and not in mankind.  Humanity will always fail.  Humanity will always disappoint.  Allow yourself to be fully embraced in the loving arms of God, because He will never fail you.  His love never fails.

God’s love never betrays.

The Help: a Film Still Prevalent Today

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compassion, discrimination, equal rights, human rights, racism, the help

The Help is certainly a must-see film.  It’s got it all… comedy, drama, and a healthy dose of inspiration.  But we all know there is a much deeper significance to this memoir of America’s bitter history.  I went to my small-town theater on Thursday night to see it.  In the audience with me, were about 100 other folks… all middle- to upper-class white people.  It was clear within the first 15 minutes of the film that it was a hit.  We were captivated.  There were laughs and guffaws, coupled with the occasional tsk-tsk’s and moans regarding the treatment of African-Americans in the 1960′s.  It was obvious that the film had cinched its protagonists early on, and we were following.  But I couldn’t help but wonder… would we have had the same reaction 50  or 60 years ago?  Now that it’s politically correct to be disgusted with our discriminatory past, it’s easy to see why this message is one that needs to be heard.  But would we have stepped up to the plate half a century ago, with the unpopular notion that people everywhere are created equal?

Racism is still rampant today in parts of the South.  Jackson, Mississippi has perhaps the most brutal past regarding their treatment of the black community.  This unfortunately continues today.  On June 26th of this year, James Craig Anderson–a 49-year-old auto plant worker–was beaten by a group of white upper-class teenagers, then killed when one of the teenagers ran over him with a pickup truck.  And oh yeah… the perpetrators are still walking the streets.

Arthur Schopenhauer said:  “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as self-evident.”  The discrimination of every minority in history has proven to follow this same pattern.  History, without fail, repeats itself.  This unfortunately is as true in the Christian arena as it is anywhere else.  Throughout the centuries, even the Bible has been used to discriminate against every imaginable minority:  Jews, children, women, blacks, slaves, homosexuals, convicts, religious reformers, the mentally ill… and the list could go on.  Martin Luther King Jr.’s question is still prevalent today:  “Why is the church so often the tail-light, rather than the headlight on matters of social justice?”  We should be advocates for a society in which all have freedom, rights, and privileges.  Yet too often we ignore ways in which we can give of ourselves to lessen the suffering of others.  We sit by, emotionally detached, as laws continue to be passed which allow certain citizens to exert power over others.  It was true during the Kennedy years, and it’s true today.

The Help, in my opinion, is the best drama of the year.  It’s a film which has the potential to open communication in a facet of society where silence has ruled.  We need to face our past rather than ignore it.  As I ponder the bittersweet progress of humankind’s ability to truly love and accept one another, I’m reminded of the infamous words from Hairspray:

“We’ve come so far, but we’ve got so far to go.”

Go and Do

Tags

faith, God, purpose

Today at work, I brought one of our patients back, and began the usual routine: x-rays, medical history, general chit-chat.  I have an affinity for our older patients.  They always have the best stories, which consequently, they never run out of.  This lady was no different.

“I really don’t even know why I’m here,” she said.  “Given my age, I probably shouldn’t even have this work done.”  She went on to say that, although she didn’t really want to wear a denture, she was thankful that God had given her a way to preserve her speech.  (Re-learning proper speech can be a significant challenge for someone with a new denture.)  Speaking was important to her, she explained to me, because she goes to a nursing home every week to read the  Bible.  She also visits an apartment complex every week to read to a small group there.

“Oh, I love what I do”, she said.  “I’ll go wherever God wants me.  I’ve been in the ministry for years.  Many years ago, I traveled full-time to 14 different countries, preaching the Word of God.  But I’m older now, and my eyesight is failing.  I can’t do all of the things I used to do, or travel all the places I used to go.  But this is where He wants me now, and I’m content with that.”

The most remarkable detail about this sweet lady?  She is 89 years old.  How easy it would be for her to spend these years reminiscing about earlier times?  After all, she spent most of her life in the ministry, preaching to hundreds of people.  No one would blame her if she decided to spend her entire retirement in quiet seclusion.  But God isn’t done with her, and she knows it.

I realized a lot from my thirty short minutes with this woman.  She displayed an insatiable desire to serve God in everything.  She wasn’t living in the past, but in the present.  She was, in a word, joyful… even in less than perfect circumstances.

How peaceful must it be to wake up every morning and say:

“This is where He wants me now… and I’m content with that.”

Growin’ Up ‘Nonna: My Childhood With Ms. Judd

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Wynonna Judd

To say that I liked Wynonna Judd as a child would be a fierce understatement.  Those who were present during my youth can attest to this.  In my pre-Judd era, I was a die-hard rocker, who slept beneath my uber-cool New Kids On The Block bedspread every night.  But something happened one afternoon in 1992.  I saw the “No One Else On Earth” music video for the first time.  I couldn’t explain it… but I knew from the moment she peered over the pool table in her leather jacket… this wasn’t the country music I knew.  Within an hour, I had successfully begged my parents to take me to the nearest department store, so that I could buy the album.  That album ended up going 5x multi-platinum, with 4 top 10 hits, and 3 #1 songs.  Multi-platinum or not, it wouldn’t have mattered to me.  From that point on, I was just along for the ride.

Two years prior to my Wynonna revelation, there was nothing you could do to coerce me into going to a country concert.  Even in eastern Kentucky, country music just wasn’t cool when you were ten.  I distinctly remember going to a Christmas parade with my parents when I was in the 5th grade.  The highlight of their evening was seeing Naomi and Wynonna as the grand marshals.  (Living 5 miles from the Judds’ hometown had its perks.)  At that point, I didn’t even know who they were.  My excitement level was comparable to shopping for socks.  I just wanted to know why Santa had been booted from his prestigious position, and whether or not there would be candy-throwing.

Her debut solo album changed all of that.  I found myself digging up all of the old Judd albums I could find.  I learned the words to every Judd song before her second solo album was released.  My collection grew from there.  T-shirts were bought.  Posters went up.  My guitar was played a lot more frequently.  And there was that one time (or maybe 50) that I crafted a head-mic out of aluminum foil.  Its metallic shimmer really added a sexy flair to my orthodontic headgear!

I’d always loved to sing, but because of Wynonna, I wanted to make a living at it.  Night after night, I would pray for two things… that I could meet her, and that God would make me a country music star.  I went to my first Wynonna concert in 1993.  Mom and Dad picked me up early from school, and we drove to Charleston, WV.  My backstage pass (thanks to the fan club) was safely protected in an envelope, where I guarded it with my life.  I don’t need to tell you that it was an incredible experience.  I don’t need to tell you that I had the time of my life.  And if you really know me, then I don’t need to tell you that I cried.  Thus began a family tradition.  We planned to go to every Wynonna concert that we could.  The fact that I got to meet her a handful of times just solidified the notion in my head that we were the best of friends (naturally).

I sent letters.  I sent a lot of letters.  I even mailed one to her grandmother, who still lives in Ashland, KY to this day.  I explained that I hoped it would have a better chance of reaching her.  About a week later, when I got home from school, I had a message on the answering machine… from Ms. Pauline Rideout, Wynonna’s grandmother.  She assured me that the letter would be specially delivered, and that Wynonna would be sure to receive it.  Believe me when I tell you… I still have that answering machine tape in my top dresser drawer.

Perhaps the most insane product of admiration for Ms. Judd, was a novel that I wrote about going on tour with her.  I say novel, because it’s really that long.  The only defense I can offer on behalf of myself is that I was an only child.  (We make our own entertainment!)  But for whatever reason, this was a project made with lots of meticulous care.  I protected it intensely.  Of course, once I was old enough to realize how ridiculous it was, I hid it and never spoke of it again… until after college.  My closest friends and I have shared more than a few good laughs over dramatic readings of the story.  One of my friends in Durant lovingly bestowed upon it the title: “Growin’ Up ‘Nonna”.

Now that I’m older, I hold a deep appreciation for that time in my life.  Children need dreams.  They need hopes and aspirations.  What amazing parents I had!  They always supported me in any endeavor I chose.  My family experienced countless bonding experiences because of Wynonna’s music.  Although I don’t listen to country music that much anymore, I’ve always followed her.  She’s never made an album that I haven’t bought on the day of its release.  I still drive to any concert I can.  She is an incredible vocalist, no doubt.  There’s a quality in her voice that speaks to me.  When I hear her sing, I’m immediately swept back into my childhood, where there is comfort, consistency, and lots of love.

So thank you, Ms. Judd, for being such an iconic part of my childhood.  I’ve grown up a little since you last heard from me… but the lunch date offer still stands.

 

 

A Stroll Through History

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a box given to me by my grandfather.  He gave it to me in the summer of 2007, just a few months before he died.  I don’t know why I didn’t go through it immediately.  Maybe it was because he had given me a verbal run-down of the contents.  Maybe it was because I could sense the failing health of both my grandfather and my mother during that time.  I didn’t want to be reminded of a history that would change, yet again, once I lost the two of them.

Paw-paw and I always loved talking about our family history.  Our ancestors could be traced back to our eastern Kentucky county since the 1700’s.  Our most famous relative, by far, was a woman by the name of Lucy Virgin Downs.  She was known as the first white person to be born west of the Allegheny Mountains.  Her father was said to have known George Washington.  I remember as a teenager, I would drive up to the little country church that was home to her grave.  The little church remains there today, in a region that is still steeped in Appalachia. It was exhilarating for me to imagine what life was like for Lucy, all those generations ago.  Now, within the box, I find an old stoneware pitcher, said to have belonged to her.  It was so humbling to hold it in my hands, to realize the history, and the mystery, of it.  I know that life was an altogether different experience for her.  Yet I  held this one thing that could somehow connect us.

Inside the pitcher, I found another generation’s fragments of history.  My great-grandfather, Edward Virgin, served in the U.S. Army during WWI.  At the bottom of the pitcher, there were his set of keys that he carried during that time, complete with name and identification number engraved on it.  Also, a 10¢ coin from Luxembourg, Germany from 1915 had been buried at the bottom for who knows how long.

Other items of interest included an old biscuit cutter, which I assume belonged to my great-grandmother, a brittle leather strap connected to an old-fashioned spur, and a collection of circulated stamps from the early 1900’s.

Perhaps the most intriguing (and strange) item buried in that box was a corncob, found in 1950, that was assumed to have been around since the Civil War.  It was delicately wrapped up in an old napkin, with the attached note:

“Sunday, July 2nd, 1950

This piece of corncob was taken from a cave on Clay Lick on what once was my grandfather’s land, and had been there since Civil War days, where a man named Prater kept his pigs during that war.

-Daddy Virgin”

Leave it to my family to save a corncob for 6 decades.  But I’m sure glad they did!

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Know your silver!

I vaguely remember my grandfather telling me that he had some coins in there for me that would be worth something someday.  I looked through them, overwhelmed because I had no idea where to start.  I always loved looking at my dad’s coin collection as a kid, just because they were so pretty and shiny!  I didn’t know the first thing about the quality or value of any of them.  The oldest one was a U.S. dime from 1899.  Pretty cool… even though it’s one year shy of the 20th century, it’s still within the bounds of the 1800’s!  The most valuable collectible coin I found was a Morgan Silver Dollar.  Right now, collectors are paying around $30-40 for it.  A $30 value is awesome, but it’s not really “a lot of money” by today’s standards.  “It’s really neat”, I thought, “except that I’ll be dead and gone before these coins are really worth something.”  That was before I dove a little deeper in my research.  My grandpa had also put rolls and canisters of U.S. quarters, dimes, and nickels in the box.  I couldn’t understand why he would keep such common currency… until I discovered that every quarter and dime made before 1964 is composed of 90% silver.  Most nickels don’t contain silver, unless they are a Jefferson War Nickel, made between 1942-1945.  They are easy to spot because there is a mintmark letter above the dome of Monticello.  The War Nickels are composed of 35% silver.

The coins in that box were worth something… not because they’re highly collectible… but because they contain silver.  Now, if you’re a coin collector, all of this is common knowledge… but I just never took time to understand it all.  What I know now though, is to hang on to your old silver coins!  The melt value of silver is higher than it’s ever been, and it continues to climb!  Dig deep into those old jars, closets, and attics!  Here are a couple of good resources I found online for determining the value of your silver coins:

Coinflation
Silver Calculator

And that is what I learned yesterday in my 12 hour crash course on U.S. coins.

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While the coins are awesome (and I’m certainly glad I have them), the real treasures are the ones that aren’t worth a thing, yet priceless.  I can guarantee I’ll see to it that they stay in my family for future generations.

Especially the corncob.

Transcendentalism vs. Christianity

Tags

compassion, henry david thoreau, love, nature, ralph waldo emerson, religion, spirituality, transcendentalism

Transcendentalism is a philosophy that can rarely be limited to a simple definition.  Literary icons such as Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, and Margaret Fuller all contributed to the notions of transcendentalism.  Personally, I’m innately drawn to the writings and ideas of these authors.  So I began to ask myself:  Can one be a Transcendentalist and a Christian?

My quest for answers was temporarily halted when I discovered that many transcendentalist ideas gave birth to Unitarian Universalism.  I’d like to state my disclaimer early on… I am not a universalist.  I wholeheartedly believe in the blood of Jesus as a necessary catalyst for the salvation of souls.  However, it’s not completely clear on whether or not universalism was the sole belief of all Transcendentalists.  It’s only clear that it was somewhat common.  Many other systems of thoughts and beliefs seem to be quite compatible with Christianity.  A fresh look into some of these concepts would benefit us as individuals, and society as a whole.

We hear it all the time in the Christian arena: “We are not of this world.”  And it’s true; Jesus said it in Romans 12:2. “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  In this passage, I believe Jesus is referring to “society”.  Resist finding your identity or importance in what society has to offer.  See the big picture.  But what does that mean, exactly?  The Transcendentalists were the non-conformists of their time.  They held an esoteric world-view… one that held a deeper, more profound meaning of life than what one could see by the fruits of society.  Their ideas of respect for nature and fellow human beings gave way to many liberation movements in history: civil rights, women’s rights, animal rights, and the Ecology Movement, just to name a few.  They believed that nature held the answers to what is right and wrong.  In Emerson’s opinion, people mistakenly looked to society for those answers.  Let’s take a brief look at a few philosophies born from Transcendentalism.

Simplify, simplify, simplify. Henry David Thoreau said it best in “Walden”.  His plea was for his readers to get back to nature, to rid themselves of the hustle and bustle of society.  He urges us to rediscover what truly matters, and to abandon our material possessions.  Present day America has a lot to offer: consumerism and capitalism, just to name a couple.  Many of our churches have bought into the concept of consumerism.  Every Sunday, there is a mega-church somewhere preaching the gospel of self-fulfillment, in the forms of financial and personal gain.  And sure, there are times for those discussions.  But have we come to care more about the budget we set to build and decorate those four walls than the brothers and sisters we could bring into them?  The teachings of Jesus reflect simplicity.  Today, we complicate our lives by buying more than we need, saying “yes” to more than we should, or even by worrying.  The road to an abundant spiritual life is partially through simplicity.

Nature is divine. In the Judeo-Christian world, we are generally careful not to place too much emphasis on nature.  Of course, God created it.  But that’s usually where our discussion ends.  We must not talk too much of nature, or else we’ll be rumored as “new-agers”.  The Transcendentalists felt that God was in everything.  As Christians, we can differentiate between worshipping creation and worshipping the Creator.  Yet, we so often overlook the absolute beauty and amazement of the world that God has made.  As the current state of various eco-systems will tell you, we have shirked our responsibility as caretakers to this planet.  And thanks to Joni Mitchell, we understand the repercussions of paving the proverbial “paradise” to put up a parking lot.

It’s true, we are aliens and strangers here on earth.  But shouldn’t we take care of it while we’re here?  It’s what God intended in the Garden, before the fall.  We were made to live as one with nature.  It was God’s perfection.  Even though we long for heaven, it’s our responsibility to respect the earth for future generations.  We take way more than we need, and we give nothing back.  We must remember that “the whole earth is filled with His glory”. (Isaiah 6:3b,c)  A core concept of Transcendentalism was to respect nature, and to open our minds to the philosophies that it can reveal to us.

We are all connected.  The Transcendentalists believed that the Divine Spirit ties all of creation together in a sort of enduring, perpetual motion.  The first thing affects the second, and so on.. each living thing depending on another in order for the cycle to continue harmoniously.  Therefore, there is a sense of responsibility that we share toward one another.  Our actions, and even our thoughts, can positively (or negatively) affect someone or something else.  This concept is reminiscent of a book I read a few years ago, entitled “Social Intelligence”, by Daniel Goleman.  The overall idea is that our brains communicate on a subliminal level, without us even realizing it.  Have you ever been with a friend, and while talking about one subject, the conversation trails off?  Then, you happen to think about a specific topic, totally unrelated.  The moment you think it, your friend has said it.  He or she “read your mind”, in a sense.  The interaction took place on a neurological level.  If this is possible, can negative thoughts be read subliminally, without the two parties even realizing it?  This concept, while seemingly far-fetched to some, makes us think twice about not only the consequences of our negative words, but also our negative thoughts.  From experience, we know that our attitude or thoughts can affect what emotions we will feel for the rest of the day.  Positive gives way to positive, and negative gives way to negative.

This excerpt explains it best:

“When someone dumps their toxic feelings on us–explodes in anger or threats, shows disgust or contempt–they activate in us circuitry for those very same distressing emotions. Their act has potent neurological consequences: emotions are contagious. We “catch” strong emotions much as we do a rhinovirus–and so can come down with the emotional equivalent of a cold.”  (Daniel Goleman, “Social Intelligence”)

Paul obviously knew about the power of thought when he wrote a letter to the Church at Philippi.  “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  (Philippians 4:8)  It seems, on some level, that we have forgotten the connectedness of humanity.  God has created us each as individuals, yes.  And individuality is to be celebrated.  But we are also created with a programmed need for others.  We were made to commune with God, with one another, and with nature.

An official, outright definition of Transcendentalism doesn’t exist.  And perhaps that’s really the point… for each one to find life’s answers within themselves.  As Christians, however, we can find the answers through Christ… though his words, and through the way he chose to live.  Jesus frequently withdrew into the mountains during his time of worship and prayer.  His Gospel was one that emphasized simplicity of heart.  And he reminds us to, above all, love one another.  Although I’m not sure the Transcendentalists would concede to this notion, perhaps they adopted more theology from Christianity than they realized.